


You're alive!

by asamandra



Series: Slave AU [3]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Illegal slavery, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Abuse, and Fury is an asshole as well, slave!Clint, the Avengers aren't nice guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 19:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/pseuds/asamandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it real or is it fantasy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're alive!

Clint knelt at the floor, his eyes down and his hands clasped behind his back. He didn't move. Not only because that was what they trained him to do, no, he feared that he might be back at the Tower, that this fantasy would shatter like glass. But as long as he kept still he could pretend that it was true. That this was _his_ quarter and not the Tower. 

 

 _Master Phil is back. He is alive._

 

He knew that it wasn't possible. Director Fury had said he's dead and he had given him to the Avengers as punishment. Why would he have done that if Master Phil was alive? Master Phil wouldn't have let it happen. 

 

_But he's alive and he's back._

 

Clint closed his eyes. He breathed and he was sure he could smell Master Phil. His suits. His cologne. Him. It all felt so familiar that it hurt and he bit his lips to repress the tears. It was in a quarter like this at the Project PEGASUS facility where he had embraced him for the last time before he had to go to his guard duty. Before Loki took him away. Before Loki killed Master Phil.

 

_He's not dead. He's alive. He's saved you. He's back._

 

But this wasn't real. Couldn't be real. It was just one of his fantasies. Like one of his dreams. He dreamed that he was alone at the Tower and then the elevator opened. He knelt down like Master Steve wanted him to. But instead of a snarled order he felt arms on his and someone pulled him up and into an embrace. He felt the warmth of a familiar body, he felt lips on his and he didn't dare to look up but he knew them, he knew the taste, knew how they felt. “Oh god, what have they done to you,” someone gasped and he knew that it couldn't be true because the man whose voice he heard died. And it was his fault.

 

_He's back. He is alive._

 

Clint knew if he had fought harder, if he hadn't let Loki brainwash him Master Phil wouldn't have died. Master Steve, Master Tony and Mistress Natasha always said that to him. They said he was too weak and it was his fault. He helped Loki to escape and then Loki could kill Master Phil. He deserved to be punished. Master Phil was a good man, they said.

 

_He won't let you stay with them. He's alive and he will take you with him. He's not dead._

 

Of course Master Phil was a good man. He was always kind. He never punished him even if he made mistakes. Master Phil said, he hated slavery and that he will treat him like every other person. Like a person. Not like an item. Clint had cried. He had taught him to act like an obedient slave around others but in Master Phil's presence he was a person. He mattered.

 

_It's your fault! Your fault! Your fault! Your fault!_

 

Master Steve said, he's disappointed. Clint had helped Loki to escape and he needs punishment. And he knew it was true. It hurt. It hurt so badly but he never cried out. He wouldn't displease Master Phil. He had bled afterwards and he was allowed to clean himself. Master Bruce found him later and he saw him still bleeding. Master Bruce had yelled at Master Steve. And he had treated the bleeding. 

 

_He will take you away from them. He is alive._

 

He still didn't open his eyes. He stayed in his thoughts, in his fantasies, in his memories. He imagined Master Phil coming for him. Taking him in his strong arms. Saying, that he would take him with him. That he didn't have to stay here in the Tower. Feeling his hand stroking over his face, placing a gentle kiss on his lips and then he couldn't hold back the tears.

 

_He's dead and you killed him. You deserve this. You deserve the pain._

 

Clint finally opened his eyes. He looked around. He saw the quarter and he knew now he had snapped and his mind broke down. He knew that it couldn't be real because Master Phil was dead and no one could come back from death. They had buried him and he wasn't allowed to visit his grave. He wasn't allowed to grieve. He knew that it finally happened and that the only things they could do now was to put him in one of those asylums for slaves who are good for nothing anymore, who lost their mind and are batshit insane, like him, or to shoot him. He know he would prefer to get shot but he knew they wouldn't show mercy with him. 

 

_He said he will be back for you. You have to wait. He's not dead. He's not dead. He's not dead!_

 

“No one will hurt you anymore. Guaranteed. You have to stay here but I will be back soon, I promise you that. And then no one will ever be allowed to hurt you,” the voice in his fantasy had said and then it had added, “I love you.” And Clint had nodded. He hadn't known what to do? He never was confronted with a fantasy this real. So he simply nodded and waited for someone to either shoot him or lock him up. 

 

 _He is alive. You have seen him. You have felt him. You have smelt him. You have heard him. You have tasted him. He's not a fantasy. He's real._

 

The door opened. It didn't sound like the elevator door. It sounded like a real door. He lowered his eyes, clasped his arms tighter to not let them slip accidentally. Master Steve will be disappointed. He will punish you if you fail. 

“Clint,” a soft voice said beside him, “please, you don't have to kneel.” He felt a familiar hand on his elbow and he swallowed. This fantasy was too realistic. He had lost his mind. He knew that it couldn't be real, that it was only his mind who tricked him. Maybe Loki had messed him up pretty badly. He felt a hand on his wrists, trying to loosen them but he didn't dare to open them.

“Clint, please. Look at me,” the voice said and the presence beside him felt so familiar that it hurt.

“I'm not allowed to, Master...” He wasn't sure how to address him. But then he felt a hand on his cheek and gentle pressure forced his head to move. He closed his eyes. 

 

_It's not real, it's not real, it's not real, it's not real._

 

“Please, Clint. Look at me.” He shook his head.

“Master Steve will punish me. He said a slave is not allowed to look at a person.”

“Clint. Steve will never lay hand on you anymore. I've promised you.” He nodded. The voice had promised it. “And you _are_ a person as well. You are deregistered. I've promised you this.” 

“No, Director Fury said I'm now the property of the Avengers. I'm not a person. I'm a slave.” He still refused to open his eyes.

 

_He sound's real. He is alive. He's there for you._

 

Lips brushed his, soft lips, a little bit dry. A tongue slid out of the mouth, touched his lips, demanded entrance. He opened his mouth, let the tongue explore him. It felt like Master Phil. It tasted like Master Phil. He moaned and then he scrambled backwards. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,” he rambled and his forehead touched the floor, his knees very close under his body. He made himself as small as possible.

“Clint, there's nothing for you to be sorry about.” 

“Stop sounding like Master Phil, please. He's dead and it's my fault and I deserve the punishment, Master...” he pleaded.

 

_Stop sounding real, stop pretending to be alive, stop pretending to be him. He's dead!_

 

“Clint, open your eyes and look at me. That's an order,” the voice finally said and Clint winced. He knew that he would be punished if he didn't follow an order but he would be punished as well because he wasn't allowed to look at a person. 

“Master Steve is not here and he's not your Master anymore. I'm your Master and I set the rules.” 

“Yes, Master.” Clint moved back into a kneeling position, placed his hands behind his back and clasped them.

“And now I order you to open your eyes and look at me,” Master said. Clint nodded and turned his head to look in the direction where the voice came from. He swallowed and then he opened his eyes.

“Master... Master Phil!” he sobbed when he saw the older man, the man he loved, the man who died because of him.

“It's me, Clint. I'm here for you.” Master Phil held out his hand and smiled.

“Master Phil,” he moved as fast as possible, pulled the older man in his arms, to feel him, to make sure he's real, to smell him, to taste him.

“I'm here for you. It's over now.” Master Phil held him in his arms and Clint couldn't hold back his tears. He cried. Master Phil never let go of him, he held him till the violent sobs died away and Clint was calm in his arms.

 

_He's alive! It's true, it's true, it's true._

 

“Your deregistration is affirmed, Clint. You're free. You're a person. Do you understand this? You are no man's property anymore. You are free.” He stroked his head and Clint tried to process his words.

 

_Master Phil is alive. He is here. He is with you. You are free. You are not a slave anymore._

 

“But... Director Fury...” Clint looked up at Master Phil, saw his angry features.

“He knew that I filed an application to let you deregister. When he gave you to the Avengers you've already been a free man. What they have done to you... I'm so sorry, Clint. But I promise you, they will get what they deserve.”

“You're alive,” Clint looked at him as if he realized it just now.

“Yes. And I won't leave you alone anymore.”

“It was my fault that you died,” Clint felt again tears at his eyes. “Please, forgive me, Master Phil, forgive me. Please, don't send me away.” 

“Clint, it wasn't your fault and I won't send you away. And you don't have to call me Master. Just Phil, remember? You're free now. You never need to call anyone Master again.”

“I love you.” Clint said earnestly. He looked at the older man and then he wrapped his arms around him. “I love you so much and I've missed you and...” 

“I know. I've missed you, too. I love you, Clint. And now we leave here.” Master... no, Phil took his knife but Clint didn't shrink back when he reached at him. He trusted him and Phil only cut through the collar that was around Clint's neck for years now. He looked at the well worn leather strap on the floor and then up at Phil... and smiled. 

 

_I'm free! And Phil is alive! And he loves me! And I love him! I'm a person now. I'm free!_

**Author's Note:**

> [asamandra on tumblr](http://asamandra.tumblr.com/)


End file.
